Fun with Electricity. And Australians.

So, I heard about Australians plans of prohibiting light bulbs. I admit, the picture forming in my mind of twenty million people sitting in the dark and waiting for the attack of the man-eating kangaroos amuses me mightily. Ooh, maybe they hang candles on their hats instead of corks then to fight the darkness. Although even a light breeze should disabuse them of the notion, what with the hot wax in their eyes and the burn scars and all. (This stereotype-Ass-tical rambling has been sponsored by Inappropriate Inc. :"If you're not offended, our job isn't done.")

Okay, okay. So they only want to ban the non-energy-saving light bulbs in an effort to combat Global Warming. This new policy would be nice. And it would save a little energy, I guess. And since Mr Turnbull can't get his mates to finally ratifying that damn Kyoto thing, like every other industrialized nation has done(except for them steenky Americans, but harping on the Bush administration will have to wait until another blog post. Or, more likely, at least a dozen.), it's nice to see he's at least doing something.

But:
Have you ever wondered how many energy you save when you turn off the light in unused rooms? Well, on a sixty Watts bulb, you'll save 60 Watt. Duh. No, actually, I mean in regards of the total energy your household uses. Lookit these two pictures (click to enlarge) :

The left one assumes an average household, as in: Somewhere between Alaska and Mexico. The right one is applicaple if you're living in a part of the world where it snows in winter and there's rarely need for air conditioning in summer (like my little corner).

Even though the two diagrams I googled differ, we see a trend: the most energy goes out the window to prevent our toes and fingers from freezing off. And the second largest part is needed so we won't catch pneunomia in our morning shower. (And annoy our neighbors with the constant screaming.)

Notice the "lighting" part? It's rather small, in both pictures. So even if we reduce the energy used there to one fifth (and that's assuming all Australians are trashing all their still-functioning light bulbs, replacing them immediately, and won't buy any extra lamps or other appliances again, ever), you'll probably save 4 % of the energy used, if you're generous.
For reference: you'll save the same amount of energy in your household if you just don't put your stove right next to your refrigerator (6 per cent if you're stupid enough to put your stove right next to your freezer).
Or: You'll save another six per cent if you turn down your heating in winter, just by one degree Celsius.
Or: All Australians abandon their driers and hang their clothes in the eucalyptus trees to dry: 5% less.
Or: you don't pre-heat your oven when baking apple pie. Every non-pre-heated pie saves 20 % of your stoves energy used.
Or: Y'all shearers grab your machines, shave your koala and kangaroo population nekkid, and glue them around your houses for insulation(the furs, not the naked animals, you perverts.): a whopping 20 per cent less heating in winter, and around 10 per cent less air-conditioning in summer.

So, don't get me wrong, Mr. Turnbull. Saving 4 per cent energy is good, and I support that. But if this is your only strategy to combat Global Warming? Then consider yourself a good-ol'-fashioned idiot.

Hey, Baby. Wanna cure cancer with me?

I hate wasted resources. But I also hate turning my computer on and off when I'm only gone for, like half an hour. Solution? Easy. I donate my body to science. Or rather, my CPU. Same difference.

I'm talking about distributed computing. Basically, you install a little software client, which uses the idle times on your computer to calculate stuff. The stuff you're calculating isn't much, like "how would a protein look if it had these contents" or "is there anything unusual in this radio signal", and any pc which can run Windows can run these.
But the algorithms need time. And if you are a scientist who wants to know the looks of all the three gazillion proteins found yet, and it will take two hours on a fast pc to calculate the looks of one, even a very very fast pc won't cut it.

But one million average pc's make a difference. Here's where you come in. Yes, I want something from you. But since it's not money nor time wasted for you (except maybe for two minutes of setup), it's not like that big a deal. Hell, you don't even have to lift your lazy ass out of your chair for it.

Here's a list of many distributed computing projects currently active (you have to scroll down the page to see the list). You can choose any of those as you like it, just remember that installing more than one at a time is probably counter-productive.
Personally, I've chosen Folding@Home , because it's one of the largest projects, has already published interesting results, and its goal is to cure illnesses. Plus, it has a point system, so whenever you submit a work unit, you'll climb up the rank ladder. It doesn't mean anything of course, except you can feel mighty cancer-cure-y for a day or whatever.

I also set up a team number (53899) over there, which means we could combine our powers, and be just like those damn Benetton Kids summoning Captain Planet. Only cooler. So, whaddaya say, people?

Teshik Teaches: What the fuck is an "orcane" ?

The dictionary tells me the english word for the german word "Orkan" is called "Hurricane". But Hurricane roughly means "Tropical Storm, but more pissed" as far as the anglophones are concerned. And since I really don't consider Britain, Netherlands, Germany, Poland etc. part of the Tropics (yet), I'm gonna need another word.
I'd consider "Storm", but it sounds so itty-bitty. Tornado? Nah, we already had three of those in the last year (not that we ever had tornadoes in middle Europe that had any destructive ability beyond moving leaves around before. But I purposefully digress).
So I am deciding to simply anglicise Orkan into orcane, inventing a new word. Update your dictionaries boys and girls, I'll use it until it sticks. Or until I get distracted. So:

Orcane, the (m.):
-1. Storm in temperate areas of the planet that's quite pissed off. And likes to push around trees just for kicks.
-2. Fucking inconvenience for everyone who want to actually get somewhere with a car, the train, the bus, or just plain by foot.
-3. The producer of rain, hail, snow, and quite an amazing array of moving air molecules.
-4. Quite often, the bringer of car accidents, broken windows, and multiple blackouts. Like the three fucking blackouts we had yesterday. Thanks Kyrill. I didn't want to do anything with my precious files on my computer in those six hours, glad you asked.
-5. An incentive to do things you'd never even consider as "sane" under normal circumstances. Like playing Activity with your family in candle-light. I'm kinda glad the lights were out, because that means I only have to kill my parents, my sister and my cousin and that ...err, enlighted pantomiming of "blowdart" will never reach the light of the public.
(rereads last sentence)
Oh. Well, crap.

Oh What A Beautiful Morning

So...yesterday, Central Europe had its first large-scale hurricane. Hooray. Not. But before I rant about Global Warming and its moodswinging bullshit yet again, something different.

January 16th, 1.44 a.m.

Cell Phone: *rinng*?
Teshik: *snooore*.
Cell Phone:*rinnnnnng*!
Teshik: Whut? Huh?
Cell Phone: *RINNNG*!!!
Teshik: Oh, fuck off and die. (gets out of bed, grabs the phone) Who, and what!
F: Can you come over? Like, real quick?
Teshik: Not again. When will those twins get born? Mid-February?
(side-note: S had more or less been in labour since end of November, and I emergency-babysat for Jay for no less than six times since then.)
F: Today. S's water just broke.
Teshik: Oh goddamn fucking finally. (pause) Gimme twenty minutes.

---

Shortly after 2 a.m., I drive into the suburb F and S live in, and almost hit a black-white cat. AGAIN, because that damn bastard seems to be suicidal, seeing as I almost run over it twice before. I swear, it's the same damn cat. Oh well. Three gone, six lives to go before I have to scrape it off my tires, I guess. F is waiting at the parking lot, S already in the car.

Teshik: You won't believe it! That same cat of last week...
F: Here're the keys, gotta go, see ya!
He then left a dust trail in the direction of the hospital, so he won't have a giant mess in his car. And I had a night to kill. Question: How?

-Television.
Vox Channel. Some breast implants try to seduce me. They fail.
"Ohh, I NEED a REALLY strong GUY to SATISFY me! CALL!!! Oh! Nine-HUNDRED!!! Sex-sex-FIVE, sex-sex-FIVE!"
The support system of the implants then proceeds to lick the telephone receiver with her tongue. Ick. And that is supposed to arouse me? Because it only reminds me of that receptionist chick in Dead Like Me, spreading her boogers around.

-Sleeping on the sofa.
That sofa has seen the beginning of the nineties, and is the oldest furniture in S's possession. Sitting on it is fine, but lying in it? Well, can you lie comfortably on something that has the profile of a W ? The only possibility of getting sleep is when you crouch yourself into one of the two V's in a fetal position and pray none of the springs decides to jump out and rip apart your face. Tony the Tiger says "Grrrrreat!"

-Sleeping in S and F's bed.
Errr, inappropriate much? Plus, EWWW. Which part of "her water broke" are you not getting? EWW.

-Television again.
Someone of the programming department of the Phoenix Channel is a sick twisted bastard. Because he decided 4 a.m. is the best time to show all those people watching, who are probably insomniac in the first place, a documentary of the Naked Mole Rat. Ensuring no one who sees this will want to go to sleep again, ever.


Four hours later, the inevitable happened: Jay woke. And: Jay had successfully digested his dinner. I usually don't change diapers during babysitting safe for emergencies. It's kind of a silent treaty between all participants. But Daddy wasn't here, Jay had a stinker, so I guess the category "emergency" was reached. By the way, I am so getting a Nanny once I start procreating.

Teshik: Oookay. This is the part we both hate, because you have icky doo-doo in your diapers, and I have to be the one cleaning it up.
Jay: Gah!
Teshik: Yes. "Gah" puts it quite nicely. Look, can we please skip the part this time where you start peeing as soon as I take the diaper off?
Jay: Dee-dl-dee-dl-dee-dlllll!
Teshik: I'll take that as a "maybe".

Eight seconds later.

Teshik: Oh, fucking son of a bitch!

Ten minutes later. Teshik and Jay rummage through the laundry basket. Jay is now naked except for a fresh new diaper.
Teshik: Know what? If Mommy and Daddy don't start potty-training you very soon, I will. Because this? Is ridiculous. I mean, peeing over one babybody? An accident. Peeing apparently over all of them? Is exhibiting some verrrry strange behaviour, young man.
Jay: De-De!
Teshik: Admit it. "I can't talk yet" is just your excuse for not seeing a shrink about your territory marking.

But I did find some non-peed clothes in the end, and the plans B, C, and D - "dressing him in Daddy's clothes", "ramping up the heating to eleven and keep him nekkid", and "get him into the pee-clothes, swipe the wonder tree from my car, decorate Jay with it, and hope no one notices what a horrible person I am" - were thankfully discarded.

---

At around half past ten, F returned home.

F: Hey. How's it going?
Teshik: You really really have to do laundry. But we're fine. How's S ?
F: The lovely mother was blissfully unconscious as I left her. She really likes the nurse with the painkillers now. ... Laundry? No. He didn't.
Teshik: Oh yes he did.
F: God. It's his latest tic. Did he even have underwear left?
Teshik: Err...I had to improvise. You have a big Jay-sized hole in your favourite white sweater now.
F: What?
Teshik: Just kidding.
F: Don't do this to me. Not after this night. Have you any idea when I got up today?
Teshik: Approximately five minutes before me.
F: Oh yeah. ...
Teshik: ...
F: ... What fucking cat?

---

Oh well. S and F are now the loving parents of Jay and his two baby boy brothers.
Happy Birthday, M and D. Welcome to the insane asylum called Earth.

I can see your house from Space!

I'm random again. And this is why I now dare you to add your position, because I'm interested where all the Charmed Sons posters are from. (Or the ones who actually happened to came across this blog per chance. Yes, I mean all one-and-a-half of you. Heh.). Well, let's see if this actually works:

Edit: Aaaaand just in the moment I decide to delete the thing because it doesn't seem to work, I get my very first comment of this blog. Curses, my evil plans foiled again. Heh. Hiya, Random Indian Jokester Guy!

All Hail Global Warming!

You know what? Global Warming and I have come to an understanding. Why? Well, This is, so far, the nicest winter ever(well, in Europe, at least).
Although it tends to be unnerving at times. Yesterday, I was taking out the trash, while in a t-shirt, and stayed out a few minutes to enjoy the breeze. Then I noticed it's already sunset (it was 3:15 pm, after all, and the forest directly in front of my home village shortens the days to 5.5 depressing hours on Winter Solstice).

Then, I went "Hmm. Something is wrong with this picture. Ah yes. To correct this picture, we either
a) move up the sun at least 25 degrees away from the horizon, or
b) my dead body should be frozen directly in front of our open trash can with a stinkface and a bag of frozen garbage in my hands. Because no way in frackin' hell do I go out in December while exposing more that 2 % of my skin to the elements.

It was that wonderful "The Day The Earth Spun Off Its Axis" vibe that made it complete.

Oh, and don't come with "But it's supposed to be snowing" and "what about Christmas". Bah, I say. Snow is heavily overrated. Ask everyone who's knee-deep into it for longer than a week. Sure it's pretty.
But everyone who has to drive each morning knows there are these kinda days when it's snowed 10 centimeters in the last hour again, and you can't drive more than 20 km per fucking hour, but that doesn't even bother you, because there's an asshole directly in front of you who apparently forgot that there's this winter thing that happens, like EVERY GODDAMN YEAR, and still drives with summer tires, at about 10 km per hour. Okay, scratch "drives", he more or less glides on the damn snow/ice road, as in, two steps forward, one step sidewards, much to the consternation of the people driving in the opposite direction. And even though you started digging your car out about half an hour ago, you could just look in the rear mirror and see your HOUSE.

And since we had these kinda days up until friggin mid-March of 2006, I don't really feel the need for snow in the immediate future. All of you who are in a serious need of a snow fix: I read Antarctica won't be completely ice-free in Summer until about 2080. Go there. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to emission carbon dioxide right now. Heh.

Edited to add: This little interactive map I found shows you what happens if the sea level rises due to global warming. Netherlanders and Floridians, you're going to get wet feet.

Healthy lifestyle? Pull the other one.

Sailorwind asked:
So how was everyone's Thanksgiving?

Busy. And we don't even have this holiday. Let's see. There was :

Friday, block seminar. Lesson from 9:30 am to 6 pm, after which your brain cells are pretty much fried. And keep in mind I additionally need 2 hours to and fro each, so extra annoyance guaranteed.

Saturday. Spending the morning trying to decipher the cryptic notes I left on my memo pad yesterday, while apparently already in half-coma. Getting a call from F, the dad of my godchild. His wife, S, pregnant with twins needs to go to the hospital. Impromptu babysitter needed. I say yes, although I already agreed to do the same on Sunday and Monday, because I'm an idiot. F and S return around six, thankfully false alarm. After godchild is tucked away, we decide to raid the secret saltine stack, call a few friends and make a little dvd-in. After seeing "Cars" (average) and "Big Mama 2" (surprisingly good), I fall asleep within the first ten minutes of "Spiderman". Again.

Sunday. My Mom and I spend the most of morning and noon under our roof (more precisely, the stowaway parts at the sides) to stuff an old closet and bed (disassembled) there. First we have to clean up a whole bunch of mouseshit and close the hole they apparently crawled in. Fun. Not. In the afternoon, I pack my pc and drive over to F (we play pc games on each Sunday. It's part of a tradition by now). Unfortunately, around five S is having labour again, some more. So while they endure the fun of incompetent doctors, I have to keep Jay (my godchild) upright and entertained two hours past his bedtime. (Tugging him in myself? Nah. We discussed this. Either Mommy or Daddy tucks him in, or no one.)

Monday. F has a mandatory seminar today, so I babysit again from 7.30 am to 5.30 pm(at least, this time S is at home. Not that she can actually do anything while chained to the bed, but she's a better conversationalist than her son). Note the recurring theme of me babysitting and me spending more time at my friend's than at home. At least today, we don't have to drive to the hospital again. After that, dropping by at friend Y, who's in the city for a day. Uni workload? Pshaw. Tomorrow, maybe.

Tuesday, the day with most lessons. Getting a call from D, who somehow managed to rip apart something in his knee and thus can't return his math homework. So we ditch the 8-10 lesson and drive over to him. On the way back to uni, I notice my neck stiffens, my head aches, and my forehead begins to glow. This is my body's subtle way of saying: "Unusual Exercise, sleep-deprivation and Junk Food/missed meals instead of vitamins for several days? Screw you, Asshole!". I know he's not kidding, so I ditch the rest of lessons too and drive home. Much to the delight of a schoolclass on tour and two old ladies in the train, who probably think I infected them with Ebola or something. The rest of the day consists of dumping aspirin and the very arduous task of breathing.

Wednesday. Body and me sign an armistice, I stuff myself with a vitamin cocktail which usually would suffice for a whole week - and a whole family - and venture out into uni territory again. This day's wacky train hijinks feature two loud elementary-school-classes, and my non-functional mp3-stick. And in uni, I realize I came for exactly nothing, since the stupid server crashed and our input is void. Great.

So, in retrospect, I did so much my body went on strike, but actually having accomplished something? Nah. Yeah, depressing. I know.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'll now shamelessly abuse my moderator privilege by randomly terrorizing poor innocent forumists. Mua ha ha ha ha.

Driving is dangerous

There is a street in Wolfsburg that really, really hates my Mom's car.

As you might know, my mother doesn't have a drivers licence at the moment, because she hit another parking car, had a major brainout and drove away, but got caught. Because of that, she may not drive on her own until November, and since my dad and sis have to work in shifts, so the lucky one who gets to drive back and forth twice a day is Moi.

So today, after I fetched her from work, she had to go on several errands. And since her back's been acting up again(to the point it takes 30 seconds to bend over and fit into the car), I wound up doing those errands. office supplies, bank, stamps, usual stuff. Then, after I reentered the car for the x'd time:

Mom: Now, pull over there on the right side, I need a bread.
Teshik: Mom? That store is literally across the street. Why did you tell me to start the car?
Mom: So I don't have to walk so much.
Teshik: Mom, that's exactly two car lengths. Plus, I am the one walking, so...

It is in situations like this when she puts up a very distinct look. You know, the look that is somehow able to convey :
"Junior, I've been in labour with you for twenty-five fuckin' hours back then, and I am able to tell you en detail how you wrecked my entire anatomy with your mere birth if requested. And if that's not enough to shut you up, I still have the backup of you living in my house at the moment, so do what I say, pointless as it may be, NOW, or else."

Teshik(rolls eyes): Fiiine.

So I start the car, drive across the street, and hop inside the shop to get the bread. I hop back into the car, shift into reverse, set b...

Kra-WHAM!

SHITFUCK!

Quick inventory. Neck is fine, body is fine, Mom sits next to me yelling, so she's fine, too. It is now that I notice I did NOT bother to look in the rear mirror, and now I notice that 30 seconds ago, another car went into the spot behind me. Fuck. Fuck-Shitfuck-Fuck. Fuck.
We both got out. A woman actually asks us if we're alright (When my sister got hit by a unmanned rolling car years ago, the first thing SHE got as response was "I'ma going to call the police on you!"). We three take a look at the damage. Our car is fine, the other car has scratches, but somehow they don't fit, as our car doesn't have a trailer coupling. But still: If he/she wants to, my insurance has to pay for the damage I could have inflicted, since I can't prove otherwise, and my insurance would "thank me properly" for that.


Mom: You know, come to think of it, this is exactly the spot where I hit that car three months ago.
Teshik (gets another distinct look, the one that says:"You killed a WHAT?"): And you wait till NOW to tell me?
Mom: And it was even with this car.
Teshik: Okay, that settles it. From now on, we won't buy bread in this bakery anymore. This parking space is cursed.
Mom: But they have the best bread in the city...
Teshik: Cuuursed! ... By the way, I am relieved you were in the car.
Mom: Huh? Why?
Teshik: You're the only person I know who cannot give me the "God, why the Hell didn't you look in the freakin' rear mirror" tirade without blushing.

Two minutes later, the owner steps out of the shop (he actually was the guy behind me in line), inspects the damage, and because he is awesome, he tells me not to worry about it. I'm safe. And because I am grateful, I am hereby thanking the stranger with the pale blue eyes and the yellow car for not screwing me over. Thank You.

You know what the irony is? I took my mom's car today, not my own. Why? Because my own is standing in the (narrow) garage, I told myself "Fuck it. With this car, I don't have any trouble with driving in reverse. That sure told me today.

So yeah, this story actually has a happy-end this time. Sorry to disappoint ;-)

Revenge of The Construction Workers

HAAAATE!

So, I've been without internet access for yet another three fucking days. It's not that I need it or something. Rrrrr.
The amazing and mindbogging part of it is, this time, the Deutsche Telekom is innocent. Seems like the construction workers who are redoing the street that's connecting us to the rest of the world and who are completely shutting down the street (forcing us to drive literally through the woods to get to work/grocery store/whatever and back, an extra of five fucking kilometers each time), have just veered off a leeeetle too much to the side, disconnecting the phone lines that were just innocently lying beyond the ground. *Rrriip* no telephone and dsl for about 800 people. Classy.
And the really sad part is, we were lucky they didn't hit the water pipes again. Originally, the major overhaul of our road wasn't due until 2012. Until some other construction workers broke the major water pipe in our neighboring village a few months ago. Which cost us water for a day(and ruined the street). And THIS was just two days after a three-hour blackout. I shit you not.

No, I'm not done ranting yet. Today, I had to drive to Uni. Usually, I'd just take the bus, which is free for me, but I couldn't, because my student ID had expired. Well, why didn't you pick up your new ID at your uni the week before the old one expired, Teshik, you say? Oh, why, I tried, dear beloved reader, two times. Only to discover on the first day they weren't ready yet, and that the employee handing them out was sick the other day. Did I mention they only give them out on weekdays between 11 and 12 in the first place? AUUGGGHH.
So, I drove there by car. No sweat, you'd think, since the Uni is only 40 kilometers from my home, which translates to roughly an hour of driving.
And you'd think wrong. Apparently, the Great Conspiracy Of The Construction Workers decided today to be the perfect day to shut off a part of the highway, what with me innocently driving around in my car and all. Of course, I saw through their evil plan of keeping me of my ID yet again, and took the no-highway-route. And OF COURSE I played right into their trap, because they'd set up yet ANOTHER construction site right there, shutting down one lane. You know what this meant?

Instant Traffic Death.

Two excruciating hours of driving. And THEN, the little guy in my radio told me that today, they will defuse an old World War II bomb again. And the evacuation zone was put between me and the Uni.

At this point, I was thisclose to just pull over unto the sidewalk and have a good, long cry. Oh wait, I'm almost out of hankerchiefs, better not. Instead, I called my mom.

Teshik's Mom: Hello?
Teshik: Hi Mom. Mom?
Teshik's Mom: Yeah?
Teshik: This entire planet hates me.
Teshik's Mom: Errr...Do you wanna talk about it?
Teshik: Not right now. Listen, I will be late in picking you up from office.
Teshik's Mom: Oh. How much later?
Teshik: Err. You got a sleeping bag with you?


So, after taking another detour, I was allowed to park a few blocks away from Uni(the police was rerouting traffic) and arrived at the office...at 12.15. Thankfully, the girl at the office was still there, and gave me my ID. Thank You, Random Uni Employee. You kinda saved my day.

Then, I took the detour for the bomb again, the highway detour again, stood in the jam for another fucking hour(the highway had a jam of 16 kilometers and my alternate route about ten, the radio said later), finally got my mom (who worked two hours overtime that day), took the detour to get to a frickin' grocery store, and finally, the detour to gain access to our home village.

Is it any wonder I don't like to leave the house any more?

Only Time

So, it's that time of the year again, where we all dig out the Enya CD and tell stories about when "it" happened. And since I didn't divulge my Story before...
The following is a transcript of an network chat between me and an ex-colleague of mine (before I went to university, I've been a trainee for Volkswagen for two years.), started around 14.40 MEST(8.40 EDT), September 11, 2001.

Satyria: I'm boooooooored. Do something.
Teshik: Hm. I'm working at the moment. Does that count?
S: Fine. Do something that entertains me. Precise enough?
T: Okay. *juggles two elephants, the unugunu, his former boss and two chainsaws, while only using his left elbow*
S: This would be far better if I could see you doing this. Not that I won't believe you...
T: Me? I Liar? Blasphemy ;)
T: All you have to do is come over here...
S: Yeah, only 2 kilometers down the Mittelstrasse. (The Volkswagen factory is reaaaaally big, and we were working in different departments in different parts of it at that time.) Thanks, but no thanks. I only have a t-shirt on, and it's freezing today.
T: Only a t-shirt, huh? I bet your colleagues are pleased. But what does your boyfriend think about your work attire?
S: Asshole.
T: >>:-))
S: You know it's hot over here. And I didn't think it's be that cold today.
T: Yet another reason to come over here. My colleagues are diehard fresh-air fanatics, keeping the window open even when its snowing, I think. thank god I leave here in october.
S: Teaser. At least you have windows. I am surrounded by *boxes*.
T: But at least you have a radio. My only distraction the line monkeys screaming at me why their pay is too low. (I was sitting in a Personal Service Center. But we had nothing at all to do with their paychecks)
S: Maybe you should give them Carestin's (trainee in Finances) email address.
T: So that she drives *another* beetle against the wall from the stress? Better not ;-)
S: *lol*
S: Woah. They just said in the news a plane crashed in New York. Which one is the World Trade Center?
T: Uhhh...I think it's the old one, with the needle at the top. (means the Empire State building)
S: You mean that thing where the Kingpin lives in the new Spiderman cartoon? (means the Chrysler Tower)
T: Maybe. I dunno. Did the building collapse?
S: They didn't say.
S: Hey, wanna meet in the city today? I wanna buy a cell phone today.
T: So you finally don't have to carry around that foldable Telephone booth anymore?
S: Yeah. Wanna go? I'll be on the parking lot in about twenty minutes.
T: You leave early *again*?
T: Sorry, can't go. Only if you wait until I get out of the Hospital.
S: ???
S: I thought your grandma died two weeks ago? (Sorry for reminding you)
T: Yeah. But now, it's my dad. Guess what it could be.
S: Oh god. You still have relatives left?
S: ...Cancer?
T: Yeah, could be stomach cancer. He's there since Friday. Today, they've made some stomach camera thing, and can tell us what's what.
S: Shit. I hope it's not.
T: Me too. Or Cancer really IS contagious. (in 2000 and '01, I had lost 7 family members. 5 of them because of cancer.)
S: I really wish him the best.
S: I'm leaving in five minutes (it's 15.10 now). How long do you want to stay?
T: *Want*? Until about 7.35 am. Have to ? I think up till four. Still gotta finish those bloody attendance statistics today.
S: Wow. They just said a second plane flew into the *same building*
T: What?
S: Yeah, on the other side.
T: No way. You're setting me up again. (According to Satyria, Pope John Paul II. died last August. Twice. So now, I am believing she just shitted me with these planes)
S: No, really.
T: No way in Hell. I can see one plane crashing there, but *two*? Either they're reporting the same plane, or you're trying to get me again.
S: Then don't believe me. Ass.
T: Whatever. I believe you as soon as I see it on the news. Not a minute earlier.
S: I'm leaving now. Ciao.
S: And there are TWO planes.
T: I said, whatever. Who cares if New York burns...

Yup. I really wrote that. Boy, was I sorry about that later.
In any case, I finished my work around 15.55, and drove the familiar route Workplace-Hospital (My grandma had been in and out of the Hospital about every other week, so that was part of my afternoon routine back then) to visit my dad. I was kinda surprised not to see him in the cafeteria, since he's a near-chain-smoker and coffee-fanatic. The cafeteria was QUITE empty that day, but this didn't occur to me until later. I found my dad and my mom in his room, watching TV.
The first thing I catched was footage of the South Tower, collapsing. Finally it hit me how it was possible for two planes to hit the same building. It happened on purpose.

Lord, sometimes, each and every person on this sick planet deserves to rot in hell.
"Who cares if New York burns..."
Oopsie.
Reserve a cozy place for me, Mr Satan.

We simply stared at the footage of the collapsing tower (had happened about 15 minutes ago, my parents saw it live on TV) and the second plane crash (the footage of the first crash wasn't available yet), and the scene of those five-and-a-half palestinien women who were celebrating and which was sold to us as "cheering all over the arabian world" (Those people probably didn't even know what happened there). My cousin arrived, as clueless as I've been, and we all caught live the collapse of Tower Number Two.

A little later, my dad's roommate insisted to switch Channels because he didn't wan't to miss Charmed (Yep, you read that correctly. Charmed. I shit you not). And since the doctors postponed my dads diagnoses until tomorrow, we said goodbye and headed home. And my mom and I started the first of the soon traditional Terror Watch (every major terror attack since, Mom and I were home somehow, glued to the television screen.) Debating about how many of those 50'000 people were actually dead. Hearing about that other crashed plane, and the attack on the Pentagon. Those five-and-a-half palestinians celebrating footage, over and over again. Being almost certain the Americans will now start the 3rd World War, since the last time they had a war site on their own land, they ultimately answered with nuclear bombs.
Suddenly, around 7 pm, my mom remembered something. "Oh my God. Oh my God! OH MY GOD!" - "What what WHAT?" - "Where's that telephone number?!" - "What are you talking about?" - "Hans and Ingrid (Hans is my godfather, Ingrid, his wife, is Moms best friend since grade school) ! The post card!
Hans and Ingrid were on a holiday trip. The post card had arrived two days ago, from Canada. They were touring first through Canada, then the Northern States, and they wanted to finish the trip in the USA...Sightseeing in New York.
I felt so sick. As if the death of 50'000 people, my grandma's death, the sword of Damocles over my dad's head and the impending Nuclear Winter wasn't bad enough, I also had unwittingly seen my aunt's and uncle's death, live on Television?
So, we got out their telephone number. No reply. Cell Phone? Dude, it's 2001. Cell phones are for businessmen and trendy rich young people only. Then, we dug out their parents number. After my mother calmed down enough, she called them, and was very relieved to hear the two arrived this morning, and were probably sleeping the whole day. (We later found out they really had stood on the top of the World Trade Center, on September 7, 2001. Unfortunately, no memento of the Ages, since their camera broke that day.)
After digesting that shock and the relief over them being safe, we continued watching until midnight. After all, both of us had to get up on 6 am next morning.

I lay a while in bed, wide awake, philosophizing. That I should better keep my pie-hole shut when thinking about burning mega-metropolices. If I would ever get out of the stupid black clothes,(It's not very common anymore, but if someone out of your family dies, you don't only wear black at the funeral, but later on as well, up to a year if you were especially close. We still follow that tradition.) since it seems I've worn nothing else the past months. If the Americans really are pissed enough to start wars. If George W. Bush is stupid enough to push the Big Red Button.
And if the Apocalypse comes, why it didn't come two fucking years earlier, so I wouldn't had to have witnessed my uncles, my aunts, and my grandmothers slow, agonizing deaths?
--- Screw sleeping. I need a drink.

The next day, I came to work hungover and with probably enough residue alcohol in my system to start selling my blood as wine. Then again, no one didn't seem to care about trifle matters like that on September 12th, 2001.

---

Flash forward five years later. It turns out my Dad didn't have cancer, only a very bad stress-induced gastritis. I don't work at Volkswagen anymore, I went to university, so did Satyria. The Americans did get pissed, and they did start wars, but thankfully, nothing nuclear (yet). George W. Bush didn't push the Big Red Button, but created secret prisons and Patriot Acts instead, and many innocent citizens of the US and other states found themselves next to terrorist suspects, without rights, for six weeks in US prisons, or up to several years in Guantanamo Bay (still without knowing the reason they're imprisoned).

I don't drink anymore, but thinking back on days like this one, and especially my mood I had that day, I am sure longing for one right now. Happy September 11th, kids.