Saturday, May 10, 2008

Non News

Class? Meet Fridgey. Fridgey is the newest member of my household, and I will love him and hug him and pet him and call him Florence and take him to the park until the day he dies. Okay, maybe not the park thing, because I'm afraid frolicking will get a leeetle cumbersome, what with him not moving and weighing 23 kilos. But he has Energy Efficience Class A+, so he won't waste electricity! And he is so cool and new and not smelling of God knows what this little green wrinkled thingy was that Grandma left in the last one before she died anno 2001. (No matter how hard I scrubbed, I couldn't get it out of the old one. I presume it was parsley.)
You think I'm a little overjoyed with my new fridge? Bah. Ever tried to live two fucking months without one? And before you ask, no, I didn't have a (functioning) freezer either. Now I have. Granted, in the tiny space I can probably only fit a chocolate popsicle and about three ice cubes, or maybe a pizza if I fold it a few times, but nevertheless, it's mine, and it's working. Whee!

I also want you to meet the second newest member of my household:
You already know Nero, his new pal is called Marty. I will not hug him too tight, though, because that would end in me becoming very surprised, then very dirty, and then very sad, in about that order. Plus, little fucker is way too fast for me to catch anyway. I will not take him to the park either, because of the predictable result.
(Oh, and before you ask, no, that's not their real cage, they just like to play in the tiny one. And destroy wooden ceilings)


As for the third new member of my household, I will not give it nicknames, and I will certainly not post pictures, because that's the one-centimeter-scar I acquired when they finally cut away my "I Can't Believe It's Not Cancer"-cyst I whined about way back in December.

Another new member of another household: Petronius is now the proud father of a tiny little girl, and hopefully, he won't break off any parts of her. I don't have any pictures of her though, because we kinda didn't talk since Mid-February (when last semester ended), and to be honest, I will not be the one forcing the issue after the whole seminar fubar. Just because we passed in the end, doesn't mean all is forgiven. I wish them the best of luck, though.

Since this all was quite non-life-threatening and/or actually good news for us, don't worry, we do fill our shittiness quota for April too, since two days after my birthday, our heating broke. The way things are going in our house at the moment is truly amazing. I fully expect to slam a door too hard next week and the wall attached to it disintegrating into dust. Oh, and in contrast to last April, which hat temperatures of 25 degrees Celsius and more, we had the coldest April in the last 15 years. Thank you, St. Peter. We really like to freeze. Anyway, since we already had planned to nenew our heating system this autumn, we skipped the fixing and went over right to the new system. Which, naturally meant 1) the very day the new heating was installed, we had the first real summer day, and 2) a full week where people I don't know make everything dirty. Whee. Not. Also? My dad insisted on buying another oil heating because "it's reliable", so I will probably rip that one out in ten years or so, because: I don't know how prices for oil are in the States right now, but our gasoline peaked from 1,24 €/litre to 1,54 €/litre in the span of three month. That's a 25 fuckin' per cent increase, if yer interested.

Last, but not least: Today is Saturday, May 10th, and my Mom's gargantuan wound? STILL not closed. Partly because our Doc needed to rip it open again, there was some dirt in the wound.

Next up on Teshik-TV: Teshik and his family make a lovely vacation to the Indian Ocean, to discover where exactly Nargis went after scorching the better parts of Burma. Wacky hijinks ensue when they accidentally stumble around Osama bin Laden's secret hideout instead. Stay tuned, kids!