Teshik Teaches: What the fuck is an "orcane" ?

The dictionary tells me the english word for the german word "Orkan" is called "Hurricane". But Hurricane roughly means "Tropical Storm, but more pissed" as far as the anglophones are concerned. And since I really don't consider Britain, Netherlands, Germany, Poland etc. part of the Tropics (yet), I'm gonna need another word.
I'd consider "Storm", but it sounds so itty-bitty. Tornado? Nah, we already had three of those in the last year (not that we ever had tornadoes in middle Europe that had any destructive ability beyond moving leaves around before. But I purposefully digress).
So I am deciding to simply anglicise Orkan into orcane, inventing a new word. Update your dictionaries boys and girls, I'll use it until it sticks. Or until I get distracted. So:

Orcane, the (m.):
-1. Storm in temperate areas of the planet that's quite pissed off. And likes to push around trees just for kicks.
-2. Fucking inconvenience for everyone who want to actually get somewhere with a car, the train, the bus, or just plain by foot.
-3. The producer of rain, hail, snow, and quite an amazing array of moving air molecules.
-4. Quite often, the bringer of car accidents, broken windows, and multiple blackouts. Like the three fucking blackouts we had yesterday. Thanks Kyrill. I didn't want to do anything with my precious files on my computer in those six hours, glad you asked.
-5. An incentive to do things you'd never even consider as "sane" under normal circumstances. Like playing Activity with your family in candle-light. I'm kinda glad the lights were out, because that means I only have to kill my parents, my sister and my cousin and that ...err, enlighted pantomiming of "blowdart" will never reach the light of the public.
(rereads last sentence)
Oh. Well, crap.

All Hail Global Warming!

You know what? Global Warming and I have come to an understanding. Why? Well, This is, so far, the nicest winter ever(well, in Europe, at least).
Although it tends to be unnerving at times. Yesterday, I was taking out the trash, while in a t-shirt, and stayed out a few minutes to enjoy the breeze. Then I noticed it's already sunset (it was 3:15 pm, after all, and the forest directly in front of my home village shortens the days to 5.5 depressing hours on Winter Solstice).

Then, I went "Hmm. Something is wrong with this picture. Ah yes. To correct this picture, we either
a) move up the sun at least 25 degrees away from the horizon, or
b) my dead body should be frozen directly in front of our open trash can with a stinkface and a bag of frozen garbage in my hands. Because no way in frackin' hell do I go out in December while exposing more that 2 % of my skin to the elements.

It was that wonderful "The Day The Earth Spun Off Its Axis" vibe that made it complete.

Oh, and don't come with "But it's supposed to be snowing" and "what about Christmas". Bah, I say. Snow is heavily overrated. Ask everyone who's knee-deep into it for longer than a week. Sure it's pretty.
But everyone who has to drive each morning knows there are these kinda days when it's snowed 10 centimeters in the last hour again, and you can't drive more than 20 km per fucking hour, but that doesn't even bother you, because there's an asshole directly in front of you who apparently forgot that there's this winter thing that happens, like EVERY GODDAMN YEAR, and still drives with summer tires, at about 10 km per hour. Okay, scratch "drives", he more or less glides on the damn snow/ice road, as in, two steps forward, one step sidewards, much to the consternation of the people driving in the opposite direction. And even though you started digging your car out about half an hour ago, you could just look in the rear mirror and see your HOUSE.

And since we had these kinda days up until friggin mid-March of 2006, I don't really feel the need for snow in the immediate future. All of you who are in a serious need of a snow fix: I read Antarctica won't be completely ice-free in Summer until about 2080. Go there. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to emission carbon dioxide right now. Heh.

Edited to add: This little interactive map I found shows you what happens if the sea level rises due to global warming. Netherlanders and Floridians, you're going to get wet feet.

Global Warming sucks

What? You expect me to actually type something here? Dude, get real. It has been 40.5 fucking degrees today, Celsius, in a country where a Summer Of the Decade is defined as "10 to 15 days with temperatures over 30 degrees". Not "at least 25 such days up to July 21st". A country where air conditioning is "that fancy thingy they have in some malls and maybe new cars, but certainly not at home or the workplace". And where "rain" is the weather default. It's been thirteen days without precipitation, and 19 since some honest to god rain that lasted longer than two friggin' minutes. I'm having withdrawal symptoms here, people!
Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating. But the fact remains that it's 10 p.m. and it's still 27 fucking degrees. Blearch.