Teshik Teaches: What the fuck is an "orcane" ?

The dictionary tells me the english word for the german word "Orkan" is called "Hurricane". But Hurricane roughly means "Tropical Storm, but more pissed" as far as the anglophones are concerned. And since I really don't consider Britain, Netherlands, Germany, Poland etc. part of the Tropics (yet), I'm gonna need another word.
I'd consider "Storm", but it sounds so itty-bitty. Tornado? Nah, we already had three of those in the last year (not that we ever had tornadoes in middle Europe that had any destructive ability beyond moving leaves around before. But I purposefully digress).
So I am deciding to simply anglicise Orkan into orcane, inventing a new word. Update your dictionaries boys and girls, I'll use it until it sticks. Or until I get distracted. So:

Orcane, the (m.):
-1. Storm in temperate areas of the planet that's quite pissed off. And likes to push around trees just for kicks.
-2. Fucking inconvenience for everyone who want to actually get somewhere with a car, the train, the bus, or just plain by foot.
-3. The producer of rain, hail, snow, and quite an amazing array of moving air molecules.
-4. Quite often, the bringer of car accidents, broken windows, and multiple blackouts. Like the three fucking blackouts we had yesterday. Thanks Kyrill. I didn't want to do anything with my precious files on my computer in those six hours, glad you asked.
-5. An incentive to do things you'd never even consider as "sane" under normal circumstances. Like playing Activity with your family in candle-light. I'm kinda glad the lights were out, because that means I only have to kill my parents, my sister and my cousin and that ...err, enlighted pantomiming of "blowdart" will never reach the light of the public.
(rereads last sentence)
Oh. Well, crap.