Driving is dangerous

There is a street in Wolfsburg that really, really hates my Mom's car.

As you might know, my mother doesn't have a drivers licence at the moment, because she hit another parking car, had a major brainout and drove away, but got caught. Because of that, she may not drive on her own until November, and since my dad and sis have to work in shifts, so the lucky one who gets to drive back and forth twice a day is Moi.

So today, after I fetched her from work, she had to go on several errands. And since her back's been acting up again(to the point it takes 30 seconds to bend over and fit into the car), I wound up doing those errands. office supplies, bank, stamps, usual stuff. Then, after I reentered the car for the x'd time:

Mom: Now, pull over there on the right side, I need a bread.
Teshik: Mom? That store is literally across the street. Why did you tell me to start the car?
Mom: So I don't have to walk so much.
Teshik: Mom, that's exactly two car lengths. Plus, I am the one walking, so...

It is in situations like this when she puts up a very distinct look. You know, the look that is somehow able to convey :
"Junior, I've been in labour with you for twenty-five fuckin' hours back then, and I am able to tell you en detail how you wrecked my entire anatomy with your mere birth if requested. And if that's not enough to shut you up, I still have the backup of you living in my house at the moment, so do what I say, pointless as it may be, NOW, or else."

Teshik(rolls eyes): Fiiine.

So I start the car, drive across the street, and hop inside the shop to get the bread. I hop back into the car, shift into reverse, set b...

Kra-WHAM!

SHITFUCK!

Quick inventory. Neck is fine, body is fine, Mom sits next to me yelling, so she's fine, too. It is now that I notice I did NOT bother to look in the rear mirror, and now I notice that 30 seconds ago, another car went into the spot behind me. Fuck. Fuck-Shitfuck-Fuck. Fuck.
We both got out. A woman actually asks us if we're alright (When my sister got hit by a unmanned rolling car years ago, the first thing SHE got as response was "I'ma going to call the police on you!"). We three take a look at the damage. Our car is fine, the other car has scratches, but somehow they don't fit, as our car doesn't have a trailer coupling. But still: If he/she wants to, my insurance has to pay for the damage I could have inflicted, since I can't prove otherwise, and my insurance would "thank me properly" for that.


Mom: You know, come to think of it, this is exactly the spot where I hit that car three months ago.
Teshik (gets another distinct look, the one that says:"You killed a WHAT?"): And you wait till NOW to tell me?
Mom: And it was even with this car.
Teshik: Okay, that settles it. From now on, we won't buy bread in this bakery anymore. This parking space is cursed.
Mom: But they have the best bread in the city...
Teshik: Cuuursed! ... By the way, I am relieved you were in the car.
Mom: Huh? Why?
Teshik: You're the only person I know who cannot give me the "God, why the Hell didn't you look in the freakin' rear mirror" tirade without blushing.

Two minutes later, the owner steps out of the shop (he actually was the guy behind me in line), inspects the damage, and because he is awesome, he tells me not to worry about it. I'm safe. And because I am grateful, I am hereby thanking the stranger with the pale blue eyes and the yellow car for not screwing me over. Thank You.

You know what the irony is? I took my mom's car today, not my own. Why? Because my own is standing in the (narrow) garage, I told myself "Fuck it. With this car, I don't have any trouble with driving in reverse. That sure told me today.

So yeah, this story actually has a happy-end this time. Sorry to disappoint ;-)

Revenge of The Construction Workers

HAAAATE!

So, I've been without internet access for yet another three fucking days. It's not that I need it or something. Rrrrr.
The amazing and mindbogging part of it is, this time, the Deutsche Telekom is innocent. Seems like the construction workers who are redoing the street that's connecting us to the rest of the world and who are completely shutting down the street (forcing us to drive literally through the woods to get to work/grocery store/whatever and back, an extra of five fucking kilometers each time), have just veered off a leeeetle too much to the side, disconnecting the phone lines that were just innocently lying beyond the ground. *Rrriip* no telephone and dsl for about 800 people. Classy.
And the really sad part is, we were lucky they didn't hit the water pipes again. Originally, the major overhaul of our road wasn't due until 2012. Until some other construction workers broke the major water pipe in our neighboring village a few months ago. Which cost us water for a day(and ruined the street). And THIS was just two days after a three-hour blackout. I shit you not.

No, I'm not done ranting yet. Today, I had to drive to Uni. Usually, I'd just take the bus, which is free for me, but I couldn't, because my student ID had expired. Well, why didn't you pick up your new ID at your uni the week before the old one expired, Teshik, you say? Oh, why, I tried, dear beloved reader, two times. Only to discover on the first day they weren't ready yet, and that the employee handing them out was sick the other day. Did I mention they only give them out on weekdays between 11 and 12 in the first place? AUUGGGHH.
So, I drove there by car. No sweat, you'd think, since the Uni is only 40 kilometers from my home, which translates to roughly an hour of driving.
And you'd think wrong. Apparently, the Great Conspiracy Of The Construction Workers decided today to be the perfect day to shut off a part of the highway, what with me innocently driving around in my car and all. Of course, I saw through their evil plan of keeping me of my ID yet again, and took the no-highway-route. And OF COURSE I played right into their trap, because they'd set up yet ANOTHER construction site right there, shutting down one lane. You know what this meant?

Instant Traffic Death.

Two excruciating hours of driving. And THEN, the little guy in my radio told me that today, they will defuse an old World War II bomb again. And the evacuation zone was put between me and the Uni.

At this point, I was thisclose to just pull over unto the sidewalk and have a good, long cry. Oh wait, I'm almost out of hankerchiefs, better not. Instead, I called my mom.

Teshik's Mom: Hello?
Teshik: Hi Mom. Mom?
Teshik's Mom: Yeah?
Teshik: This entire planet hates me.
Teshik's Mom: Errr...Do you wanna talk about it?
Teshik: Not right now. Listen, I will be late in picking you up from office.
Teshik's Mom: Oh. How much later?
Teshik: Err. You got a sleeping bag with you?


So, after taking another detour, I was allowed to park a few blocks away from Uni(the police was rerouting traffic) and arrived at the office...at 12.15. Thankfully, the girl at the office was still there, and gave me my ID. Thank You, Random Uni Employee. You kinda saved my day.

Then, I took the detour for the bomb again, the highway detour again, stood in the jam for another fucking hour(the highway had a jam of 16 kilometers and my alternate route about ten, the radio said later), finally got my mom (who worked two hours overtime that day), took the detour to get to a frickin' grocery store, and finally, the detour to gain access to our home village.

Is it any wonder I don't like to leave the house any more?